Okay, I'm not gonna lie.  Starting Kindergarten has been rough.  Maybe that's because I didn't expect it to be.  I expected it to be like Preschool, and it's not.

Like when Shaun ended up in the middle school drop-off line and a teacher left Evan standing in the POURING RAIN of Fay without any direction... like when Shaun looked in his rearview mirror and saw him chasing the car, crying, with his arms stretched out and running his duck-footed run.  That wasn't like preschool.  Not at all.

Nor was it like preschool when Shaun got out of the car to console him and the pitiful excuse of a teacher manning the car-line led Evan away by the hand, scolding him while he sobbed his way to class.

In preschool, there was no early dismissal day of the week.  It was always the same time.

Which is why when he was in preschool, his pitiful excuse of a mother never forgot what time to pick him up.

He never cried because all the children had been picked up except for him- never felt that moment of panic and isolation, when he couldn't see his white car anywhere.

At preschool there was no such thing as "extended care" with unfamiliar teachers and students.  In preschool, someone he knew would've sat with him till they found me.

But he's a big boy now and preschool is far behind him. 

No more fire drills by manual whistle blows.

He's onto the real thing, with flashing blue lights and screaming sirens. 

The other kids cried.

But not him, because he's a big boy now.  He saves the tears for bigger issues.  Like abandonment.  

Labels: beach, bittersweet, dumbhead parenting, Evan, milestones, pics, summer