In a perfect world I would live in a cottage on the beach. 

Okay, I'll keep it real- not a cottage, exactly, but a sizeable house that still FEELS like a cottage.

I would have a chef and a maid who not only clean but do our laundry, and not because they have to, but because they love to do these things like I love to take pictures, (so that we wouldn't be putting anyone out.) 

They would be funny and endearing and trustworthy, like part of the family, (so that they wouldn't be putting us out.)  And they would have beautiful Spanish accents and be of older age.  Because it's my perfect world and I said so.       

The house that looks like a cottage would smell good all the time.  In the morning it would smell like blueberry muffins, at lunch time it would smell like fresh basil and produce, in the afternoon it would smell like pineapple and coconut, and in the evening it would smell like a good roast. 

At sunset it would smell like chocolate.

I would never snap at the kids because my house would smell so good and my laundry was clean, and temper tantrums would be a snap with nothing else to do but cope with temper tantrums. 

We would play on the beach all day, and I would take pictures in the evenings.  Some of the evenings. 

Other evenings I would read, or take long walks with Shaun and have sex on the beach.  (The drink, of course.)  Or as far as you know.

And I would be able to edit every picture just by looking at it.  (Which would mean my need to do all in both color and black and white would not be an issue.)  Oh, and because I would have unlimited storage space that was guaranteed to never become corrupt but last until the end of time, naturally.

Shaun wouldn't have to work.  He would play in the sun with us all day long, and sunburns and skin cancer wouldn't exist.  Neither would sharks. Nor algae nor mildew.  Nor jelly fish.

Only suntans and dolphins.  And minnows. 

And game fish that don't mistake humans for prey.  That would be okay, I guess.  For Uncle Steve's sake.  And Uncle John and Uncle Justin and Grandpa Boonie.  (I'm thoughtful like that.)

Jimmy Buffet and Bob Marley and Brooks and Dunn and The Temptations would fill our house with simple songs through speakers in every room.  And there would be hammocks and rocking chairs and a wrap-around porch, and we would have a guest room or two for anyone who wanted to visit.

Charlie would never pee on the floor.

We would be silly all day long.

And no one would ever grow up.

In a perfect world. 

Labels: beach, dreaming and scheming, national lampoon family vacations, photography, pics, summer