The Negotiator
After an endless battle with Evan over whether he can have more peanut butter on his apple or not, I said, "Why don't we talk about something else? Why don't we talk about what we're going to do after your nap?"
"No, that's not a good question."
Do you see what we're dealing with here?!! He turns everything around on me and outsmarts me right and left. He's also been known to say to us things along the lines of "No, don't talk to me like that," "Mommy, if you can't listen..." "Don't ever talk to me like that, mommy," "Don't ever do that again, mommy." And many, many other similar commands. And I thought I wouldn't have to deal with back-talking until middle school. Ha! I'm already struggling to maintain my authority and not because I've given him any ground, not because any of these comments go unpunished or without reprimand...but because, well, he's just that good.
The other day he colored on the wall and got a spanking. The next time I saw it I began to fuss over it again (it's like Picaso's ghost went at two walls like they were a blank canvas) and he said, "No, you already spanked me. I don't want to talk about it anymore."
I thought, fair enough. Once it's over, it has to be over...moms aren't allowed to hold a grudge.
Another problem is his defending Madalyn at certain times: "No, Madalyn can do that, she's a baby," "no...Madalyn can do that, she's a girl," (I swear we haven't ever said the "girl" line to him- I don't where that came from,) and then he fusses at her on his own at other times, using rationalities and consequences we use for him: "Madalyn, that's a no-no. If you do that again, Madalyn, no cup." The other day he was doing this sort of thing and I told him he couldn't tell her what to do.
"You're not the mommy, you're the little boy," I said, "just be the little boy."
"No, I'm the leader." (He was quoting Shaun's previous instructions to not follow Madalyn's baby behavior but be a good leader back to me.)
I heard myself quickly re-explaining what leader means, exactly...we lead by example and not by barking orders.
This brings me to right now, this current control-battle, as the master negotiator is in his room crying it off until he's ready to try eating his apple "as is."
And me, well I just felt the need to tell the world: I SO have my work cut out for me...God help us all!
