Jacky!

You are growing so fast!  Nearly 14 months already!  I'm actually overdue to write your sister and brother a letter, but you're the one changing so quickly that I wanted to jot down a few things about you before you're on to the next phase...

Just now I was chasing you up the stairs.  Whenever the gate's left open, (which is rather frequently in this house,) you climb a few steps and wait, looking over your shoulder to see if you will be scolded or not.  You only enjoy the stairs when chased or scolded.  What IS that about human nature that relishes the forbidden?! 

Oh.  Right.  That incident in the garden.  That whole "curse thing."

Funny how I find it endearing in you, though; the way you wait for me, and snicker and suppress laughter the whole way up as you try to escape.  If I just stand there and watch you, you almost won't go on... there has to be scolding and horror or the stairs lose their power.  I will have to remember this for your future...<insert funny joke about your high school years here>...

Last night you got into the trash and found a coffee filter full of grinds; you pocketed some in your mouth like chewing tobacco and walked around the house for several minutes before I realized.  I thought you would NEVER go to sleep after sucking coffee beans, but your brother and sister wore you out for me, and I'm grateful.

You DO, however, wake up every night at 12.  If we hear you whine daddy says, "Welp, it must be midnight!"  He thinks when the pool pump turns on every night it sets you off.  You usually go back to sleep on your own, though sometimes need a few kind words, a cuddle... and a bottle of milk.

Being the third kid, you're the first to get a bottle in bed... WITH milk.  Getting it away from you now is gonna be a doozy.  (How do you spell doozy?  It's a word I should know as there seem to be a lot of them in my current life.) 

This bottle-thing happened not to get you to stop crying, but because I found myself short on hands so often when it was naptime, and I would just let you hold your own bottle in bed- now I KNOW!  I KNOW what you're thinking: where's the love?  But before you get your diaper in a wad, what you have to understand is that if you had WANTED to cuddle to take your bottle, I would've gladly obliged.  But I found that you would have a few sips, squirm and climb on me and the chair, and just want to get down and go play again.  So in that case, if that was how it was gonna be, to the crib it was!  And I could kill two birds with one stone...but don't you worry your pretty blonde head because we have LOTS of cuddle moments.

For examply, it's VERY okay with you if I brush the hair out of your eyes repeatedly when I've just laid you down with your bottle.  You loooove that.  Your eyes drift closed and open again... you love having your hair rubbed, which is a good thing because I stroke it A LOT.  You'll even bring me a brush and just sit while I brush your hair because you love the way it feels.  This tells me three things: a) you did not get my tender head b) you most likely have your father's great hair, lucky kid and c) I better watch out for any girl who tries to stroke your hair come high school if this is your reaction to it!

You also brush your own hair a lot- very carefully, (as any perfectionist would.)  And you put on sunglasses and hair bands, which is so endearing because the hairbands are always on perfectly and yet you're so completely unaware of gender... and because the sunglasses are always on wrong and backwards and yet you walk around with the heir of Marty on "Back to the Future" sporting a hoverboard.   

Your body.  You are built A LOT like Evan was at your age.  It makes me nostalgic and also filled with joy because I get to experience it again with you- and a little different because you're you, which, not to sound trite, but is so special; your uniqueness.  You have a hollow belly and chunky, solid legs and thick feet.  You smell sweet, you feel sweet- your soft round body in your worn baby pajamas.  <SIGH>  No wonder I am usually getting pregnant again about now... this is when you want to do it all over again because THIS, THIS month is soooo worth it all.

I long to see what you will all be when you grow up; to watch you become who you were created to be; your unique gifts and talents and struggles... I hope I can always see and support your uniqueness.  I hope I never make you into some mold of who I want you to be, but that I would appreciate all you already are and all you are becoming through the grace of God.

I tell you "I love you" and "mama loves you" all day long.  Yesterday you said it back to me as one word: iuhyou!  Everything you say gets an exclamation point on the end.  I don't mean because you've yearned it, I mean because you say everything as an exclamation!  Like it takes you a lot of gusto! just to get it out.  Bye bye to daddy in the mornings is "BAH! BAH!"  The only thing you say softly is "ma-ma-ma" and "dis." (This.)

"Dis?"  you ask and hold up some object... or "This!" as in 'now this, this is what I'm talking about... this has got it goin' on!'  ('And don't even THINK about taking it away from me...')

The other day we heard you on your monitor when Evan and Madalyn were in your room with you and you said, "EH-VAN!  EH-VAN!"  He didn't realize and so you humored us and said it for him again, AND Madalyn PERFECTLY on command but haven't done anything on command since!

Well except for "soooo big!"  You do that when asked, and hold your little chub arms over your head with a smile, then you clap as direction for US to clap in praise for you, so we follow orders and clap and cheer, "yay, Jack!"

You and your brother and sister also put on shows for us in the living room.  Daddy and I sit and you all say "welcome to the show!"  And you do tricks and things and we clap and cheer.  It is PRICELESS how you participate and put yourself on their level.  Evan does some stunt on the couch, then you run touch the couch and turn around and clap at us like, 'yes, that was my trick, you may clap now!'  You spin in circles and get dizzy while they summersault around you and we clap until are hands are red and smile until our faces might crack in two.

Yesterday you watched some hens on a Disney cartoon and you looked over at me and flapped your arms exctiedly saying, "KACK, KACK, KACK!"  Technically, that's a duck.  But close enough!  "Kack, kack!"  we cheered.  "Yes!  A duck says kack, kack!"  Then you smile knowingly like, 'hey these big people are actually beginning to understand what I've been saying all along!  They're getting smarter...'

You also exclaim things like "whoa."  And you blow kisses to me with just your mouth, no hand gesture.  And you say, "tickatickatickaticka" almost by rolling your tongue when you want to play a tickle game...

Oh, and I almost left daddy out!  He walks in the door and you bury your head in his chest, then you lean back and look at him, then nestle in again.  You melt him and he is the sunshine that walks in the door just when it was getting dark outside.

There's so.  much.  more.  But you get the picture.  Most importantly, (ha!) I am your world right now; we have a real love affair going.  One glance from me sends you into blushes and smiles, and BELIEVE ME that's what one glance from you does to me!  I love everything about you; your round, so-blue eyes, your soft hair that curls at your neck, your toothy grin and even your drool!  You.  Are.  Perfect.  Well, as perfect as humans come, anyways.  (While I was writing this very paragraph you decided to hold Evan's Leapster by the pen and give it a good swirl or two in a pee-pee-filled potty.) But then what's a younger brother for?

MUCH love, sweet boy of mine,

Mama xoxo