Madalyn spent much of yesterday very confused about her "real birthday" and her "real party day," alongside Evan.  They understand dates, though, so it would've been difficult to escape the fact that there would be no party with friends on July 1st... but they couldn't understand the abstracts of the resulting family celebration yesterday. 

There was only confusion, but certainly no complaints, as it was a delightful day for her.  We made cinnamon muffins for breakfast- she helped bake and eat.  We went to Walmart to get stuff for her weekend party, and where she picked out her own birthday presents (when I realized there would be no chance for me to shop without her.)  She and Evan and Jack had a quiet time at home, while I wrapped her presents in red paper leftover from Christmas because she told me to, because red is her "new favorite color."  (It, coincidentally, has been my favorite color whenever they ask so I thought her change in preference was sweet.)  This did not stop her from picking out pink icing for the cake we made last night.  Actually... for the cake batter. 

We got a call to join friends for dinner and a movie and had to leave the house pronto, so into the fridge the cake batter went because we ran out of time.  Unfortunately, Evan started to feel bad at dinner so I took him home- and Jack- and let Shaun take Madalyn on to the movie where she sat next to her boyfriend, Andrew, and Rick and Shaun made inappropriate comments about making out. 

I did feel bad for Evan missing out on the movie, but it gave me a chance to finish the cake and attack the flagpole holder outside our house.  It's too narrow for our new pole, but I couldn't get it off because the bottom screw was stripped.  Before it was said and done I had all 250 pounds of my 6 foot-something-big neighbor hanging on it.  When it was finally ripped out of the wall, I realized the new holes would not line up with the old ones and Shaun would have to finish the job of drilling them.  (I would drill them myself, but last time I did that with curtain rods things went very badly. For me and the wall.) 

On the way home, Shaun said Madalyn spoke to grandma on the phone and told her all about turning four and the beach trip- about her favorite Coquina shells she collected and how they look like angel wings.  Grandma said she wants to come visit soon and Madalyn sang, "SURE you can!"

She walked in the door aglow, basking in the attention of one-on-one time with daddy... and Andrew.  She sat and opened her presents that were a surprise to her all over again. And she gleamed when we sang- just mommy and daddy- and brought her a pink cake with a white "M."  She was too full on Skittles and whatever else Shaun dumped down her at the theater to actually EAT the cake, which we said was totally fine, she could have some tomorrow-  "I just like to look at it," she said, absorbing the "specialness" of it all.  She was quite a vision, all tan in her madras sundress and light pink hairbow, with her bleached hair... ripping through the red paper next to her slice of pink frosted cake with dimples on display.

After we opened the last present and sat for a minute, taking in all the cheap little pieces I spent many dollars on that could've come free in a happy meal, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Mommy, thank you SO much.  For my cake.  And for my presents.  This is the most wonderful birthday!  I am SO happy." 

You think I made that up, don't you?  But I swear, that is verbatim.  And if only you could hear the tone of it... it was so sincere.  You would never know how many times I've messed up as a parent.  You would think I was perfection, as sweet and heartfelt and sincere and passionate as the statement was made.  But what I know more than anyone is how much my parenting has nothing to do with it- that's just how tender-hearted and responsive God made Madalyn.

Then her expression dropped momentarily as she said, "I wish Evan was here to see this."