Little Stinker
This morning someone was calling our home phone and I couldn't find it anywhere. I could hear it, of course, but locate it- no. So when it had finally quit ringing I pushed the stand pager-button to try again... on and on and forever I searched. It was maddening. And the whole time, Madalyn stood casually in her diaper, leaning like a cowboy in a western movie on the coffee table, as if she knew exactly where it was but was too much enjoying my desperate antics to intervene.
I searched the couch cracks, under cushions, under the blanket, in the hat boxes on the hearth, in the tv cabinet... it was right there, it had to be... I could hear it, for Pete's sake!! I finally identified it as definitely being lower to the ground and got on all fours in my ratty Winnie the Pooh night gown- you heard me- that my mom bought for some unknown reason years and years ago; one on which the lace is now shredded off the sleeves in strings, but naturally you always fall in love with your ugliest nightgown, much to your husbands dismay. (Only he actually recently said he doesn't mind this nightgown so much, though I won't disclose why, seeing as how this is a family blog and everything...) but I can assure you that what Madalyn was observing wasn't a pretty sight; a pregnant lady on all fours, covered in Winnie the Pooh, half-blind in her glasses, and trying to get flat enough to the floor to check under the couch again- humorous, certainly... but pretty? Lord, no!
Then it was- the table... somewhere right around the table... IN the table, in the drawer!
You know what this location meant, right- you get it? It was a dead give-away that Madalyn knew EXACTLY where the phone was, had planted it there, and was so humorously intrigued in having one up on me, that she remained a perfectly silent bystander in the midst of my humiliation and torment.
And you know, all I wanted was a hint. Just one small clue- was that too much to ask for?? But instead it was, let's watch mommy lose her mind and perform circus acts in her character costume... if only I knew I how to work a video camera and computer I'd have this thing on the internet before she could turn around...
So little lady, this is where it stands: the next time your beloved pink blankie goes missing- or worse still, your wet wipes- well that's tough poo poo for you, capisce?
