I Hate Molasses
When Shaun and I were engaged we had an "incident" (which is a nicer word for "fight") before going to a Wednesday night worship service at Willow Creek.
Look, we had many "incidents" the year we were engaged, so why would the fact that we were church-bound stop us? Of course this one did revolve around cough syrup, which is probably telling.
Here's what happened:
I was sick. (I was also sick a lot the year we were engaged, and come to think of it, between the fighting and that, it's a miracle we ever went through with our vows by the time June rolled around.) This particular sickness was a cold and Shaun bought cough syrup and was insisting that I take some before church. I think he was really just at the end of his rope with hearing me coughing all the time, which, let's face it, can get annoying after a while...
So there we were; in the dormitory parking lot, sitting in the good ole' green Explorer, him in the driver's seat, me in the passenger seat. A shot of red cough syrup sat on the console between us...
"We're not going until you drink it," he threatened.
"It's just cough syrup. It doesn't even help that much. Why are you making such a big deal of this? I don't like it."
"Why are you making such a big deal of this?"
"You're really getting mad at me because I won't drink this?"
"Yes."
"Fine. I'll drink it. But now I'm mad at you."
I threw the nasty stuff down my throat and (apparently) tossed the plastic shot glass as far from my body as was humanly possible. Apparently. Because the next thing I remember is watching the color of mad rise up Shaun's neck, into his ears, and fill his face like a hot air balloon. He did one of his disgusted exhales and shook his head in angry silence.
"What are you so mad about? I drank it!"
"You flung cough syrup ALL over me, what do you mean what am I so mad about? You're acting like such a baby."
I admit I didn't know much then, but I knew enough to hold off from asking him whether or not he sold his sense of humor to purchase my engagement ring. And I don't remember how the "incident" ended, but we still got married, despite our loss of all senses, and am I ever glad cough syrup didn't make or break us.
Anyway, this brings me to molasses.
My midwife has recently been finding that I'm increasingly anemic with each visit, and has instructed me to take a tablespoon of molasses a day, and wouldn't it be great if I could even get down two? She has no idea that one is pushing it. Shaun placed an immediate bet that I'd do it for a day, maybe two, and that would be the end of it. He knows me. He also knows to disappear when it comes time to gag it down.
But the other day, before I came up with the syringe-method, back when I was still trying to swallow the whole tablespoon out of a deep measuring spoon, Shaun entered the room in the midst of the ordeal. He threw my concentrating on not concentrating (like they do on Fear Factor,) and I felt it between all of my however-many teeth and drizzling from the roof of my mouth and the cracks of my lips down into the aluminum sink, and that was it. That was when the gagging came. A lot of it. Shaun froze in his steps to watch the show (figuring he was a safe distance) and when I was done and some of the water had evaporated from my eyes, we broke into a fit of laughter.
I know what you're thinking. We've come a long way. But I have this sneaking suspicion that God's paying me back.
To keep you current, (and because I know how my intake of molasses is soooo fascinating to you,) I've started shooting it down the back of my throat with a syringe like we do to the kids. The only down-side is there's no way to do it without warning; I always know when it's coming. I can only shoot a tsp at a time. This means I do three "shots" (hey, coming from a syringe, that's kind of funny,) and each shot takes 3 gulps to swallow. It's that thick. And it better work for boosting my iron after all this turmoil.
When I first got the bad news of this prescription, I wondered if maybe I could just eat molasses cookies. Then I realized I would have to eat a batch a day. So that was sadly out.
And now I wonder if I'll ever eat them again. They used to be my fav.
Here's the recipe in the hopes that someone will continue enjoying them:
Ginger Cookies
2 cups flour
1 t baking soda
1 t ground cinnamon
1 t ground ginger
1/2 t cloves
1/2 t salt
3/4 c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 T molasses
1 egg
Combine flour, b. soda, spices, and salt. Beat on med. speed 30 seconds. Add butter and sugar and beat till fluffy. Add molasses and egg and beat till combined. Shape into 1 1/2 in. balls and roll in a bowl of sugar. Arrange 3 in. apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for about 12 minutes or so, until raised and cracked.
