This morning I walked Evan out to Shaun’s car in my pink bathrobe, then I rolled the trash to the road.  It was cool and crisp, and when I headed back up toward the house the sun was rising from behind it, making it only a silhouette against the starburst of orange rays.  Chickens were bawking from somewhere nearby, and it seemed so very fall in that moment, with Charlie trotting briskly beside me.  But that all changed, of course, when we got in the car and the kids wanted to hear Jimmy Buffett for the 5th morning this week.  I would have no problem with that- I love summer year-round, and I love Jimmy Buffett (how do you think they know about him)- except that Jack loves The Volcano Song.

And ONLY The Volcano Song. 

It’s one of those avenues he uses to show us all JUST how strong-willed he is. 

After listening to I don’t know- I don’t know- I don’t know where ima-gonna go when the vol-ca-no blows 500 times this morning, Madalyn politely asked to hear The Cheeseburger Song. 

Sure.  No problem.  (Except, of course, that you won’t be able to HEAR it over your brother’s blood-curdling protests.)  And our poor car-pooling friend that had to witness the fury… 

Really, Jack?  Really?  Over THIS? 

But their song choices are fitting this season of life.  Right now, Madalyn has the disposition of a cheeseburger in paradise, not too particular, not too precise- and Jack is an unpredictable volcano, ever-ready to erupt.  I should be the one singing “I don’t know where ima gonna go when the volcano blows.”  Okay, but to his credit, he’s getting a little better, choosing his battles.  (Why The Volcano Song was one of choice, I’m not sure.)  But  after drop-off he asked to go to Gracie’s house, and to the store, and was told no to both.  Instead of making me suffer, though, he gave a very emphatic, OH, MAAAN!  But I will take that ANYDAY to my bleeding ears.  Ear-bleeds for 18 months is enough to make anyone crazy… SO crazy, in fact, that that person might decide to have another child and add to the madness.  (I mean, does it really matter at this point?)  I say that with a smile, not pessimism; with a crazy, foaming, shaking, drooling smile.

Labels: autumn, beach, dumbhead parenting, humor, Jack, Madalyn, making music, phases

My in-laws said we had to watch this.  They were right- too funny. 

Labels: humor, mixing emotions and politics, tv

Shaun went into the garage this morning to find this.  (Only this picture doesn't show the true peculiarity of the situation because you can't see the height at which it hangs...) so I took this: 

So yeah...  apparently, there was a riding toy in the way when our garage tried to close last night, so the door went back up. So did the toy. 

It reminded me of that classic children's book, Wacky Wednesday. 

Labels: dumbhead parenting, humor, parenting, pics

Well, either he's brave, or just plain senseless, (and you know which one we're all leaning towards,) but he DOES resemble William Wallace from the movie, does he not?

Can you guess what he gone and done?

No, not a sunburn.

Lipstick, that's right.  You're good. 

From my makeup drawer.

Have I mentioned that he likes my makeup drawer?    

Not an ounce of remorse, tsk, tsk...  ohhhhhhhh, there would've been remorse alright if I'd known then (when I took these pictures,) what I know now... which is that he didn't leave this artwork to the porch, but also on my bedspread, my shower door, my closet wall, and the bedroom carpet.  You know how they say lipstick is one of those things you can't get out?  One of those true stains?  Well, "they" are telling the truth.

That poor bed of ours has had quite a week.  More on that another day.

Labels: boys will be boys, dumbhead parenting, here comes trouble, humor, Jack, parenthood, parenting, phases, pics, pictures

Two peas in a pod.  (Okay, okay, a SANDBOX.)  With no sand.

That smirk means trouble

I knew it!  Trouble.  One bat, two toddlers... you do the math.

Where is your father, little boy?  Somebody should teach you how to act.

Heartbroken.  Just heartbroken, look at him!  Where is that blonde kid's parents, already?

Interestingly enough, if you make that blonde kid share, if you nicely ask, "Jack, will you share the bat with Caleb?"  He will willingly share with a smile on his face.  But because he is the youngest, he is NOT COOL with having things ripped out of his hand.  He was NOT gonna let that happen.  No way, no how.  It's an unfortunate thing, birth order.

Oh good, they're kissing and making up...

Well, the nice one's kissing, the blonde kid is just receiving.  Typical.

A little bit of parallel play, that's good, work it out, boys.

Now that no one's looking, Goldilocks is gonna pay for what he done...

Whatever happened to these days?

Labels: boys will be boys, friends, humor, Jack, photography, pics, pictures

Go back with me a few years, back to the Valentine's Day 9 months after Shaun and I were married, when he was a very mature man, all of 20 years old. It was the first morning of the year that he wasn't late for a class, and not only that, but was up before me. Why was he up so early, you ask? Why, decorating the house in pastel Post-its, of course! Reminiscent of candy hearts that said "Be Mine" "Kiss" "Hug" "I Heart You" and- remember he's at the ripe old age of twenty- "Sex" with a small "haha" scratched in above it.

That's right. Forget the niceties, let's talk biology... and you and me, sex baby. And imagine my surprise to awake to a house (okay, a basement,) wallpapered in post-its with such blatant declarations of his love... or his, well...

Fast forward to the present, to yesterday afternoon, when Madalyn found a plastic bag full of college memorobilia in our study and went through it like buried treasure, staring at pictures of mommy on roller skates, and cards with glitter and loopy handwriting, of daddy on a beach when he weighed 130 lbs and looked more like an anorexic version of me...

I let her explore it (aka- fling it to and fro-) appreciating her sentiment. A few minutes passed and then she brought me an old card with some Post-its stuck all over it, featuring the infamous sex! haha Post-it right in the middle.

"Look at the invitation I made for Andrew," she said.

The invitation she made. For Andrew: Sex, haha.

The kids like to make cards for their friends at school and deliver them by way of their cubby holes. Every day is Valentine's Day to them. Evan takes drawings in our junkmail envelope sleeves and showers his classmates with gifts from Acclaim healthcare Benefits daily. So when she handed this "invitation" to me, my mind was already watching her place this it in the little boy's cubby: the what might've been. I could already see the cops patrolling the walk because there was talk of a Sexual Predator who had been placing obscene notes in the children's cubbies: Sex! haha...

When I was in middle school, I remember being in the car with my dad and my brother one afternoon, and they wanted to run in a hardware store. "I'm just gonna stay in the car," I protested...

"Now, Katie," my dad started, "there are a lot of pervs that hang around in parking lots and I wouldn't want you to grab one of them..."

My brother laughed, flaring his front teeth like a horse, and my dad grinned in clever pride.

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. Probably slammed the door.

What can I say? These mix-ups happen. But notice! The father's always to blame.

Labels: humor, Madalyn, parenting, shaun

Just in case there's any controversy, I think it's evident that THIS one's legitimate.

Labels: beach, daddy, humor, Madalyn, pics

Labels: boys will be boys, Evan, humor, parenting

Labels: family, humor, shaun, technology