Easter Morning
Happy Easter!!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Little White Paper, Coconut Trees, & a Bag Lady
Madalyn McDonnell eagerly enjoyed herself this Easter season, and mostly the homemade dishes on the spread this holiday; potato salad, strawberry pretzel salad, green beans, macaroni and cheese, and ham. She's also enjoyed other new things lately, like tuna salad, scrambled eggs, bacon, and buttered toast. She'll really eat anything we offer her, or at least try it, and if I tear bites off my sandwich, she pushes my hand (and the bite) aside, then leans, mouth open, towards the entire sandwich, preferring to eat it like the rest of us. As you can tell in the pictures, she's very malnourished and is just trying to catch up ;) .
She's still not walking, but will stand for forever. She LOVES to be held upside down and will tilt her head back if you stop. In fact, it's a great way to get her to stop crying...just flip her over and she smiles a toothy grin of amusement. She's very brave like that. It takes a whole lot to scare her. Evan is...well the polar oppostie...cautious and easily frightened.
"It's not gonna bother you, it's okay," and "I'm not gonna hurt you...it's not gonna hurt you" are two of his favorite phrases right now. It sounds like we abuse him and we're worried he'll say something to this effect at the wrong time and we'll be reported to DFS! These phrases came about from various things...Desitin for diaper rashes, ("I'm not gonna hurt you,") in regards to large dogs that bark, "It's not gonna hurt you,") in regards to the foamy packing wormies in boxes that he thinks are alive because of the way they float on the air. "The little white papers aren't gonna bother you...they're not gonna hurt you," he'll say. Shaun said to me, "Why'd you ever teach him to say that?!" Shaun trys to tell him that they're "happy little white papers" to put a positive spin on it, but it hasn't helped. He's freaked.
I can't say I blame him. And he's also very confused about what in the world we're doing right now. If you ask him where we're moving he answers, "Orlando." If you ask him where we are he says, "Ocala." But every so often he says he wants to go see "Jackson-bill" or that he misses a toy he thinks is in "Jackson-bill." That's hard to hear. We hope he feels at home when we make the transition. I guess this means we can't rush him into potty training too quickly now--that might do him in!!
He loves, loves, loves the Chicka Boom Boom book and will sing the entire song and builds Coconut trees out of his legos and makes his letter flash cards walk up them as he sings it. He also likes spotting Palm trees because he calls them "Coconut Trees" and wants to sing the song. The other day we drove by an "OPEN" sign and I heard him in his carseat reading, "O-PEE-EH-NA" as he sounded out "OPEN." He was so proud when he got it...and so was I, of course!!
Shaun...Shaun is very exhausted with the commute, but a wonderful, wonderful trooper about it. He's such a good daddy and still so patient and attentive to our needs when he finally gets home around 7:30 each night. We are so blessed to have him.
I'm exhausted from packing and driving around with two surprisingly patient little faces peering at me in the rear view mirror as I frantically look for more boxes.
Yes, I hit all the ABCs and Publix stores in town and I know they thought I was crazy jumping in and out of the car and digging in dumpsters! "Mom's at it again." And then when I told Shaun we needed to buy boxes big enough for the tvs he said, "Well now wait a second...you know what...I think I could get some of the huge boxes from work...there's tons...and bubble wrap!" I think he then realized his folly because he grinned a big, sheepish smile when I asked him exactly what he thought I'd been doing all week...using everything from newborn washcloths to paper towels to wrap our breakables in, and prowling around town like a bag lady looking through people's trash. But to his credit, he's easily distracted and currently he has a very good excuse, and we had a good laugh over it.
Easter was spent with my mom's side of the family at her house in Ocala. It was relaxing...though not for Doug who had the flu and was confined to the bedroom, and then mom, who got it later that night, and then poor Nana and Jack the following day, who are still recovering. But for our small crew it was relaxing. The service at Grace Episcapol was wonderful and though we had a not-so-good nursery experience, there's no permanent damage done.
We hope all of you had a relaxing, thanks-filled Easter, as well. Fill us in when you have a moment. Katie@McDonnellPlace.com
Love,
Katie
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Yellowdog
Found the poem while packing and thought I'd throw it on here real quick.
I wrote it in college. We were supposed to pick a photograph and describe it, then move to a memory, then make an analogy. I chose a picture of Hunter and me...we were spooning on the rug in front of the fire at our old house:
Yellowdog
His almond eyes, half hidden,
rest in her red sweater sleeve,
her fair curls mingling with blonde fur.
Pink palms nestle in his chest feathers;
they're like two golden spoons
in a drawer with oriental liner,
basking, borrowing heat from hearth,
they sleep forever on Kodak paper.
And often in summer grass,
the sleepy paws stretch by the lawn chair,
her body is his shade as he licks ice cubes
that fall from her red Dixie cup.
And sometimes in spring-fed water,
they drift on well-worn foam floats,
yellowdog on his own yellow raft.
Nosing closer, wet dog props his
sweet, sun-warmed chin on her browning young arm--
total sunblock--but she doesn't mind,
and his chin links their lazy drift.
Balloons, car-rides, the small white dog:
things that make a yellowdog anxious
Crooked-tooth smile, rhythmic tail wag:
things that make an anxious girl calm.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Silver Springs and Some Silver Lining
I'm sad to report Shaun didn't escape it. The flu-bug caught up with him and he had a long night. He's missing his second day at a new job an it seems that each time we say things couldn't get much worse, they do. Maybe we need to quit saying that. It's not true anyway. We are so fortunate and so grateful that our illness will pass and our "homelessness" will, too...that they are not lasting conditions, but temporary trials.
Yesterday Shaun was at work as normal and met with a realtor to see another house on the market. He made our third offer and then of course, right after he came down sick last night, we found out the other realtor had been carrying on a bidding war, which is super unethical and really isn't supposed to happen anymore. So the price greatly increased, but the closing date and neighborhood was a plus, so Shaun decided to still make it a go. I hadn't seen it and had no opinion...how could I on a house I'd never seen and when two offers have already fallen through and I all I really want to do is move and settle-in somwhere. So last we heard, it's ours. We'd heard that once before, before we knew there was a bidding war taking place, so we're afraid to get our hopes up yet again.
So while we've had a rough month of it...putting Hunter down, the commute, two failed offers, and the flu-bug for all four, there seems to be some silver lining on this raincloud and surely the storm's almost over, so I can't harp on this pity party for too long!! God is so good--this we well know.
So while Shaun had a rough night, he's now sleeping, and Evan (who's been throwing fits since 6:00 am) just finished eating lunch and is entertaining his sister quite well at my feet. While there's laundry to be done, a binder to be overnighted, and I have yet to take a shower, naptime's soon approaching and God's grace is surely good. Taking the time to write this helps me remember.
I've also posted some pictures from our trip to Silver Springs last week, courtesy of my dad, "Boo." We saw a Water Lights Show, rode the Glass-bottom boat, ate ice cream and saw some neat animals. Dad bought the kids a wind-up toy and a stuffed animal. It was perfect for their ages, and they had a great time.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Super-Daddy to the Rescue
At about 4:15 last Sunday morning, Evan woke up crying. I went to check on him to find vomit on his pillow, pajamas, and in his hair. I gave him a bath and brought him to bed with us, where he very soon threw-up a second time. That was the beginning of a pretty violent bug for him.
He threw-up about 3 or 4 more times that day and then finally fell asleep in front of his Leapfrog movie. It was so hard and sad to see him like that. Each time before he would get sick he would cry "tummy hurts...want you to kiss it...want you to fix it and make it better," very weakly. I hated that our kisses wouldn't fix it.
Just when I thought the rest of us had safely escaped, Monday evening rolled around and my stomabh started to garble. We had just pulled back into our Jacksonville home and our bags were still in the foyer. At about nine that evening I had my first attack and then had about 10 more on through into the morning. It was horrible. Madalyn woke up in a bed of vomit about the time mine started to slowly let-up.
Shaun had to take off work--his first sick day at a brand new job--I felt terribe! He babied Madalyn and bought her Pedialite and changed and washed sheets and clothes and awful diapers and took care of temper tantrums and chipped ice in the middle of the night, and outside so as not to wake the kids. He's fetched fresh clothes and re-filled my ice, Gatorade, and Ginger Ale, and brought me Saltines and dry bread, and tissues and a clean "purple sick bowl" as Evan named it. He made calls to my mom and dad in the middle of the night and patiently came to me each time I called on him. Last night I realized I had socks on my feet and didn't know when they got there or what socks they were, but he had of course done that for me in the midst of the chills. He's so amazing, patient, and tender. How blessed all of us are to have him!
Please pray he escapes the germs as he is headed back to his new job today and really can't afford more time-off, and especially as violent as this bug has been!
I should also add that we had a "super-brother" in the house yesterday, who was very concerned about his ailing sister. He would ask if she needed the sick bowl and tell her it was okay. Shaun sent him to check on her once and he promptly returned to report, "She's okay." He also asked to come in to see me and asked, "You okay, mommy?" And then said, "Want to kiss mommy's tummy." So he kissed my tummy and I told him it made me feel all better...and it truly almost did!!
Friday, March 11, 2005
Under Contract
Finally! Our house is under contract to sell April 6th!!
I say finally, but it really only took about 2 or 3 weeks, it just seemed like forever because we're anxious to sell and start packing. Living in limbo feels like God hit the "pause" button on our lives...but I know it only feels that way, and so I've been trying to relax and enjoy the ride. It's not an easy thing to do, and I've failed miserably at times!
We are going to look at houses this Saturday and if we don't find anything, we'll likely just rent an apartment for a while. That might be nice...like a vacation...to have the community pool, playground, and sidewalks. We have no idea what's in our future, though. If we rent, we might even leave after the six months, or we might hang around longer and sniff out the technology opportunities in Orlando..."time will tell," (I feel like I say that a lot,) but I guess that's what makes life fun, right? The not-knowing.
A kid update:
Madlayn is a great eater. She's recently had green beans, Caesar salad, carrots, potatoes, oatmeal, applesauce, cinnamon raisin toast, chicken casserole, and basically whatever we're eating. I can't get her to eat fruits, though. Every now and then she'll eat a small amount of banana.
She's doing this new thing where she waves like a beauty queen. At first I thought it was just a funny little thing she did, thinking there was no way she understood the concept of waving, (especially since Evan's never been a "waver," even now,) and then I realized she knows exacatly what she's doing because I often wave to her across the room and now she mimics it when she wants someone's attention. She stretches out her arm and folds her little fingers up and down, open and closed, and often swirls her wrist a little, too...as though she is in a ballet. She'll sometimes tilt her head to her arm while she does it, which is so endearing. She won't wave unless you're not paying attention...in other words, she won't do it on cue.
She's also got four teeth coming in! The front two up top and on bottom. I can begin to see what her smile's gonna look like and it's so adorable. I love it when their teeth first start poking through their pink gums.
Evan.
Evan said the sweetest thing to me the other day.
I have a cold sore in my mouth, (gross, I know, but relevant to the story,) and so my mom was telling him that "mommy has a boo boo in her mouth." He just looked at me and really didn't respond much and we kept talking.
A few seconds later though he repeated her:
"Mommy has a boo boo in her mouth." As though he'd been processing the idea the whole time.
"That's right, " I said, "See?" And I pulled my lip down to show him.
He pulled his neck back (I don't blame him,) and looked cautiously and then said with empathetic inflection,
"Poor baby, Mommy!"
I, of course, nearly cried. As a parent, and much like God with us, you pour so much love into them that when you see them pour a little back out, it's so rewarding!
Love and Blessings,
Katie
Also--a BIG congratuations to my friend, Kate Schuenke, who was not only accepted to Notre Dame, where she intends to receive her doctorate, but who was a so-desired student that they offered her a full-ride--tuition, living expenses, and a trip up to meet the professors and see the campus (plane ticket, meals, and room included.)
Isn't that amazing! You go girl! And as my my said with a pleased smile,
"Well we always new she'd go really far, didn't we?"
Hunter's Last Breath
My writing professors said you can't write well when you write about anything too close to home, too emotional. In that case, this entry will be poorly written because I miss my dog terribly. I know he was "just a dog," and that I'm so blessed the only family I've had to bury is a dog thus far...but he was my dog, and he loved me well. Hunter was such an unexpected personalized gift from God to me in the midst of some really tough times and I'm forever grateful to God for giving me his affection.
He was diagnosed with liver cancer a short three weeks ago and had recently quit eating. He couldn't drink on his own so we had to lift his bowl. His belly hurt and he groaned when he lay down or stood up and sometimes in his sleep, but he still never once snapped--not even during the injection, but only moaned softly. He was nine years old.
The Vet came to mom's house this evening to do it. Doug's mom was kind enough to come watch the kids short notice so I could be there with Hunter, where we took him in the garden and lay on a sheet together. The sunset was spectacular and he was so sweet and peaceful--I can barely stand to think of it. He lay down with me and we nuzzled noses--needless to say, I completely lost it...the Vet almost prolonged the whole thing because I was so upset. But he made me feel better by saying it was about quality of life, and I didn't want him to suffer...it just still seems so unnatural to end any creature's life like that, though. Except for his weight-loss, he seemed so young and healthy still.
We hugged him there on the sheet. I hugged his belly and chest and cried into his fur, and was like this when I felt his last breath leave him. It only took 15-20 seconds from the first injection of anesthesia--so quick. Too quick.
I felt him die...I felt him leave, all around me--even before I felt that last breath leave his body, I just knew he wasn't there anymore--he was gone.
My dad tells a story about being in high school and doing homework in his room when he just knew all of ther sudden that his dog died. "Blitzen's dead," he said to himself. Sure enough...he went to the yard to find him dead. He says he just knew.
I never understood that, but now I do. If I'd been inside the house, I'm convinced I might have felt it still. It's like there's life...more than physical breath and bloodflow, but life, and then it's gone, and you're left with just a shell. It's more than the absence of a functioning body, it's the complete vacating of a personality. It's not the way things were created to be, and as I said before, I'm so glad this is my only intimate acquaintace with grief. Praise God He has remedied the curse of death for us and our loved ones with His precious Son.
Hunter, I can't tell you what God brought me through, using you. You were the best teddy bear, the truest friend, the most unconditional love, and I miss you so. Thank you, Hunt...from the deepest depths of my heart...thank you, my baby boy.
I'll post my "Yellowdog" poem when I can find it, (not that anyone's sitting on pins and needles about it,) but if it ever had a meaning or purpose (at least to me) then it's now.
This was so strange. John dug a hole for Hunter's grave in the garden and when we were outside yesterday Hunter went over to it and lay down just like this...as if he knew. He stayed that way for a long time. The Vet said he really thought they did know when it was about time. Still can't believe he's gone :(
